The Foundation

I came across a very good quote the other day in one of my text books. It is by Bell Hooks she says, "When we can see ourselves as we truly are and accept ourselves, we build the necessary foundation for self-love. The confusion arises because most people who think they are not lovable have this perception because at some point in their lives they were socialized to see themselves as unlovable by forces outside their control."

I think that sometimes we are afraid to let others in because we have seen others who have gotten hurt from letting people in. We build up walls and wait to see if anyone out there is willing to climb the wall just to see what is on the other side. Occasionally, you get a brave person who will try to climb over the wall. Then you become afraid that the person wont like what they have found on the other side. So you put obstacles in their way, maybe loosen some of the not so important bricks so that they slip when they are grabbed at and threaten to make the person fall back to the ground below.

I think that it is time for those of us who have built up walls or are in the process of building up these walls to take Bell Hooks advice and love ourselves. As we come to love ourselves we will be building something much better than any wall. We will be building that foundation that Bell Hooks talks about, something that wont be easily taken down by years of bad weather or people who come with climbing equipment to dig into us. We will gain that self love. If you love yourself, people will come to love you too.
Many people face hard lives and are told that they are unlovable. They are raised to believe this lie. How are these people who have been put in these most unfortunate circumstances supposed to lay their foundation when they haven't been given the equipment to do so? The answer to this question may seem very difficult, when in fact it is very simple. The rest of us in the world who have firm foundations must provide those around us with the equipment.

Reach out to those around you, make them know that they are worthwhile, even if all you give them is a smile and a simple "Hello". Most of the time, they simply need that kindness shown to them. As you reach out to those around you, you not only show others that they are worthwhile and help them build their foundations, you continue strengthening your own. It then becomes a win-win situation.